It takes so long for me, figuring out what to do.
Make plans? See friends? Go out or stay in?
It takes time for me to settle into myself in order to decide. To figure out what the “me” wants, in the midst of all the chaos.
I step outside into this city and it’s “go time!”. I come back to my apartment and now it’s just me. All of that GO energy trailing behind. It’s with that energy that I’m not quite sure what to do about. It creates tension — a part of me that knows what I want and a part of me that doesn’t believe in that knowing.
It looks something like this…Body — tense, tense, tense. Mind — what, what, what.
Eventually, the tension releases bit by bit. My body sinks into chair. More time passes. Finally. Here.
Now I ask myself again, what do my body and mind need right now?
This time, the answer is much, much different.
