I deserve. Whatever it is. A new haircut, a new pair of shoes, a new dress. Whatever that ‘material’ thing is that I think I can’t have because it means I’m selfish or materialistic, it’s not true.
I deserve to do and to have nice things for myself. I deserve to fill my cup, so that I can fill others. This isn’t materialism or selfishness, it is simply wanting and doing, without blaming and shaming.
If I want to buy an extravagant dress for no reason other than to look pretty and feel good, that is enough. I don’t need permission to do this, I don’t need validation, and nothing needs to be justified. It’s okay. The biggest thing I’ve learned recently is to not be self critical. Oftentimes, when I am buying something expensive, I feel guilty. I feel that, now that I just bought this for myself, I need to go and donate to a charity, or do something nice for someone”
I feel guilty and that guilts comes from not letting myself have it. Whatever it is, it’s not giving myself permission to have the nice things. In some way, I am denying myself of these things, I think, because I feel I don’t deserve them. But truthfully, I do. And truthfully, I am not doing anyone good by pretending I don’t.
You might be saying, ‘well, isn’t it a good thing to donate to charity, even if it doesn’t always come from a good place?” In some sense, yes. In another sense, no. The energy and the intention behind that ‘selfless act’ is actually quite selfish. Most importantly, it’s a donation that comes directly from fear, and not from love. Inevitably, it sends a message of fear out into the universe, not love.
Good news, we can shift this perspective. Do nice things for you and don’t feel guilty. If you want to do something, do it. There doesn’t have to be an ulterior motive, it’s okay to let yourself do the thing. Second, give back. Not out of guilt or shame, but out of love. Out of this recognition that we are all connected, and that everyone deserves to have nice things and live a life at ease.
Tune in to your intentions and ultimately, the energy you are sending out into the universe each and everyday. It matters.
