lonely, frustrated, self concious, feeling though I should be doing more, should be doing something else with my time, that i’m not enough, boredom, purpose. All of the things I’m feeling, questioning, thinking, pondering in A DAY. A single day. These thoughts and feelings come and go, come and go. There isn’t a ton of distractions, life without substances and while I try to fill my time with fun and intersting things and time with friends and family and loved ones, it’s not enough. These thoughts will come and go and come and go regardless and I ask God / Spirit to remove them. To help purify my mind and body and allow me to experience life AS IT IS. To sit and be in bliss, to feel and experience joy, to be present and alive and free in this material body. I remember that i can pray. i remember that I Can ask for what I want. I remember that I can take my thoughts as clouds in the sky, that I don’t have to believe everything I hear in my mind. I remember. It’s hard, but I remember. And then, sometimes, on a really really good day, I think about other people and I realize that a lot of people feel all these things on a regular basis, too. And that so many people also go through this and are uncomfortable and faced with ‘shoulds’ and become totally enthralled with their own selfish desires and forget that there’s a whole world out there and that there are things to go and people to help and support and love.
