“Here’s the thing: the more conclusions you draw about life, the less attention you pay to it.”
I love this quote because it seems to embody exactly what meditation has meant to me, and why it’s been so important to commit to something so religiously for the past 10 (or so) years.
I’ve drawn so many conclusions about life over the course my existence, a few of them being — I’m not good at that. I don’t like that. I like that. I enjoy spending time with this person. I would never try that. I’m not worthy of that.
I was committed to my conclusions — to believing them, to practicing them, and to using them as a way to affirm my identity.
But these conclusions weren’t doing anything for me except bring me further away from myself and others. They were sending me into autopilot and taking me out of the moment.
I didn’t have to think, I could just know what to say in any given situation. I didn’t have to work to pay attention, I knew my conclusions were already drawn out for me.
These conclusions began leading me down a very small, very narrow box — one that was filled with more control and more hate.
I experienced anxiety, control, self doubt, as you might imagine. My relationships were unhealthy, toxic, controlling.
There wasn’t much love to be found. Only fear.
Through meditation, I’ve practiced not drawing so many conclusions. What this has meant is that I actually pay attention to life, instead of assume what I “know” to be true.
Curiosity is what they call it.
Being curious led me into truth, and out of autopilot. It brought me into connection, and away from habit.
I’ve stopped making conclusions and started paying attention and what I’ve realized is this — it’s impossible to capture the essence of a moment in a single thought, conclusion, idea, or framework.
If we’re really paying attention to what is happening, there are no conclusions we can or would want to draw. We would just realize how beautiful it already is.