I finally, after 10 years of self-exploration and self- help, feel qualified to write this post. So, what is “your path” and why does it matter?
With all the self help books and resources out there, it’s easy to look at a topic like “find your own path” and just cringe or turn away completely and believe me, I get it. This post isn’t about consuming or digesting something but rather, about learning how to listen and trust yourself so that your life eventually reflects back your truth and no else’s.
So much of our culture is designed to strip us away from ourselves, and reel us into buying whatever’s being sold from them. These steps below have helped me in return to and remember me and my own needs and because of that, I felt it was important to share it with others.
The first part: Have the awareness that you are being influenced. You are the subject of the objects that are influencing you and unless you live in a cave in the Himalayas, you will eventually become the product of the movies you watch, the books you read, the friends you spend time with, and the social media you engage with. Etc., etc., etc. Period. Point Blank.
We are the sum of where we put our attention. If we’re not careful, we’ll be on the, “midnight train going nowhere fast”, as they say. So being critical, intentional and thoughtful about who and where we spend our time is probably the most important thing in all of this.
The second part: Create a strong foundation. And I mean strong. You’re aware now you’re being influenced so, to counteract that, you need to be so rock solid in knowing who you are and what you stand for so that no one else can speak for you.
Check in with yourself. Get a sense of what’s happening inside you all the time. Try new things and notice that pull or tightening in your body. Notice the love you feel or don’t feel in your heart. Notice if you want to do it again or not. Notice if you feel better having done it or said it, or if it left you feeling drained and depleted. See, hear, feel, listen, accept. Regardless of WHAT it is, just allow, allow, allow.
At first it might be tough. Maybe even a little bit forgein — it certainly was for me. My thoughts and voices were so distant, the voices of others began to pass as my own.
The point, ultimately, is to validate. Notice what you notice and AGREE with it. Say yes. Here and now — yes. This is the truth of the moment and I’m going to honor it.
Sooner or later, you will start to differentiate “you” from your surroundings and so instead of feeling immesged with everything and everyone, you finally feel a sense of separation — a sense of, “I’m me and you’re you”. There’s an equal push and pull and a dynamic ever evolving relationship between you and that thing, that person, that activity, that place.
The third part: After noticing what you notice and begin to separate yourself from the things outside you, take action. Your chest is tight? See what it wants. If it helps, you can give that feeling a name, shape, color. Personify it, and allow it’s existent in the present moment. It might want to leave the place you’re in, or put down the book you’re reading. Whatever it is, feel the nudge. Do what the nudge says. This is you getting closer to you.
The more you do this, the more accurately your friendships, job, relationships, hobbies and interests will reflect exactly who you are at your core. Slowly turn the dial so that you can walk into a room and immediately feel your body relax and say, “these are my people”. Or, you will immediately pick up the fruit and say, “this is what my body needs right now” or lay down next to someone and you’ll say “thank you”.
Getting here is like winning the lottery. Every inch of you knows who you are, what you stand for and why you’re here. And all it takes in a moment’s notice.
As a result, you will emulate light. You’ll have an energy that people are drawn to. Maybe even envious of. They’ll wonder what you did and how you got there. They’ll ask you questions and seek clarification about their own lives — don’t give it to them. Let their process be their own.
Stick to you and your path — the intentional, authentic, no bullshit one. Live it with the confidence of knowing that you’ve chosen yourself and no one else. I believe that’s all we’re really after, for ourselves and for others.
